You can choose your friends, however, you can’t choose your family members. And those family members can sometimes be extremely difficult and even toxic people. We have collected a few cues made by professionals which will show you how and when to cut off ties you don’t need.
One psychologist from California, Sherrie Campbell said that you need to love yourself, and she even wrote a book about that! Obviously, the book is titled, “Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person”. She basically said that you shouldn’t allow anyone to manipulate you and abuse you in any possible way. When that happens, you should know that it is “time to love yourself enough to let go”.
The same thing goes for any kind of a relationship, and Jamye Waxman, the author of “How To Break Up With Anyone: Letting Go of Friends, Family, and Everyone in-Between”, said that you should immediately stop any ongoing relationship with any toxic family member. That can destroy your health! Those problems cause headaches, heart problems, bad blood pressure, problems with sleeping, lower the self-esteem, and cause depression. So, be “bad” and say “bye-bye” to that poisonous family member.
All that stress will eventually have a bad influence on your social life, work, and home.
A clinical psychiatrist, Mark Goulston, says that if some person constantly creates a negative feedback and feeling just upon a simple mention of its name, it is the time to get rid of such person. “If the person makes you sick. No, if just the mention of the name of that relative, or a text message, e-mail, or voicemail from that person puts a huge knot in your stomach, that’s the clue the relationship has become unhealthy!”
And you should remember that family always comes first. And if some relationship has a negative impact on your immediate family (kids or spouse) better move on and protect your family. Even if that means that you need to move on from your mom or dad. “If maintaining the relationship is harmful to your spouse or children -for example, your mom clearly favors one of your children while neglecting the others – you may need to take a step back for your family’s sake.”
This same scientist said that you don’t need any “one-sided relationships”. It doesn’t matter how close that family member is for you, if the feelings, decisions or money is a one-sided thing, just move away. For example, if that family member is always complaining and borrowing money, it is the prime time to cut off all the connections and run like hell.